Fall - An Interplay Between Life and Death
Of all the seasons, I think Fall is the most beautiful and much awaited by many. It is the season that engages all the senses –the cooler breeze and the anticipated crispness in the air; the leaves turning into an explosion of red, orange, amber and gold like watercolor on Mother Earth’s canvas; the unmistakable crunch of dead leaves that have fallen on the ground; the familiar smell of mulled cider and campfires, and the comforting taste of pies and pumpkin spiced coffee as one snuggles in the warmth of an old sweater. It is a time of celebration of the harvest, of Halloween, and Thanksgiving. It is Mother Nature’s grand finale as summer’s curtain falls, before she goes away to her deep winter slumber only to reemerge with new life in the spring.
And yet, even in all its splendor, Fall is the season that brings the most pain, nostalgia and significant melancholy. It brings with it a feeling of impending loss.
It was in 1999 when my love-hate relationship with Fall began with the passing of my brother, Gerry, on September 20. That relationship was cemented in 2009 when my husband, Tim’s illness fast tracked in September, only to culminate in his death on November 25, the day before Thanksgiving. And again, reinforced this year, when a dear friend lost her young son to suicide; and another friend lost her husband and mother to sudden deaths, all in the month of September.
So for me, Fall has a meaning that goes beyond the physical signs that herald its coming. The season is a reminder that change is the only constant in our lives. It lends itself to reflection on the impermanence of life and that everything around us, including ourselves, is fleeting. It teaches us about the vulnerability of life and the finality of death. Here today, gone tomorrow.
Fall also reminds us that we are one with nature, and our lives follow the same cycle. Much like the bare and scraggly branch releasing its last leaf, it is a time for letting go of all our past burdens. I find this yearly exercise of clearing out the detritus of grief particularly painful and yet healing.
Fall teaches us to appreciate and cherish the beauty around us, be it a sunset, a flower, or our loved ones, because they will not be around forever and neither will we. It challenges us to be mindful of the present and to live life to the fullest.
But unbeknownst to us, underneath all that death and decay, seeds are sown and nurtured to give way to new life in the spring. Fall is that delicate dance between life and death. Fall, in its astounding beauty, shows us that life and death are not opposites of each other, rather, a paradox where they are a part of one another. To live is to die, and to die is to live. Someone said, “It is strange that Autumn is so beautiful, and yet everything is dying.”
“I hope I can be the autumn leaf, who looked at the sky and lived. And when it was time to leave, gracefully it knew that life was a gift.” - Dodinsky
Photos Courtesy of Pexels
