Fathers' Day Musings
I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death.. . . Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. - Leo Buscaglia
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It was the summer of 2010 in South Padre Island.
It looked like a regular vacation at the beach. Bailey had just turned 16 and Devon 19.
No one would’ve known that behind those smiles, our hearts were broken.
Tim had just been gone seven months and our first Fathers’ Day without him was coming up.
We didn’t know what to do.
We were not even at the stage of acceptance that we no longer had a father who was alive to celebrate.
We still expected him to walk through the door at 6:00 PM.
Time at the beach with my sister Patti and family was a good option.
Life could give us a welcome reprieve and distraction from our grief.
After all, our reality would be waiting for us when we got home.
My kids were old enough to understand grief and loss but too young and ill-equipped to deal with it.
Well, no one is, no matter at what age.
Fast forward to today, Fathers’ Day is coming up again, but now seven years into our grief journey.
It is incredible to think about what we all have seen, done, experienced, and accomplished since we charted our course without Tim.
It is only by the grace of God and him watching over us that somehow we have emerged pretty much intact and unscathed.
In fact, we have experienced tremendous growth in each of our lives.
Were there things we would have preferred not to have gone through? Absolutely!
But even those were part and parcel of our growing pains.
Allowing ourselves to grow is a painful and difficult process, but it is still the better choice.
Choosing life, participating in it actively, and finding joy again, despite our loss, are the best gifts we can give our loved ones who have gone before us.
I know, in my heart, we have made Tim proud because that is what he would’ve wanted for us to do.
Happy Fathers’ Day in heaven, my love! We love and miss you!
(Re-printed from a Facebook post, June 2017)
